21.1.19

04.52 (UK TIME): I am sat on a freezing cold train to Gatwick. It is definitely coat weather but I obviously don’t need one where I am going! Leaving mum and Frances felt sad, but I know they’ll be ok, goodbyes are always weird. I am very cold, far to excited to step off the plane and into the heat.

04.55: This train really is cold, I had hopes of it warming up as the journey went on, but no. I immediately regret wearing 3/4 length leggings as my ankles are yelling at me right now. Eagerly anticipating airport warmth.

06.00: I am sat in a distinctly non descript area staring at a wall eating a home made left over turkey sandwich (you were right mum, it is making a wonderful breakfast.) The guy at the check in desk seemed even more excited than I am about the spontaneity of this trip, he kindly moved my seat to the isle (which could spark much debate over the ideal placement in flight!) I figured this way I don’t have to ask anyone to move when I need to pee.

07.24: Gate info isn’t announced for another hour, in natural Shillito fashion I was three hours early. Time is moving slowly but I like it. I put my headphones on, song library on shuffle, memories from last year’s trip flooding back immediately. I love how one song alone can hold a hundred memories and emotions. Damien Rice always makes me think of everyone i’ve ever loved and how thankful I am to have such a supportive family... and how much i’ll miss them.

08.01: It seems there is nothing quite like sitting alone in an airport listening to your entire music library on shuffle, observing strangers manouver about in pairs, familes or solo, to make me REALLY appreciate my life. I just went from Linkin Park to The Neighbourhood to Coldplay, skipping through memories from secondary school, to summer 5 years ago to visions of my sister bursting through the church doors at her hypothetical wedding, running down the isle and launching herself into her future husband’s arms. We joke about it but it will probably come true, most other things in her life have! For fear of sounding a little cliche (get your sick bucket at the ready) I am even grateful for the utter bullshit we have waded through; the really difficult times along with those so great they filled our eyes with tears. I wouldn’t be sat here right now without each and every chapter, no matter the colour. I’ve never found the words to sum up how I feel about my life. Lucky doesn’t cut it because I don’t believe in luck, and I worked hard to get to this point so I think that underminds it all. Blessed is far too heavy and has religious undertones which don’t really sit with me. Maybe i’ll make up a word.

19.55: Considering how long I have been sat in the same spot I feel surprisingly comfortable. My eyes are bloodshot, i’m four films deep and considering a fifth..... we took off an hour and a half late due to fog so I feel pretty ready to get out and stretch my legs. The excitement is building the further away I get from

home. It’s finally feeling like reality.

21.22: MEXICO TIME

Sleepy. Feeling grateful. Was cooped up on that plane for far too long at the end waiting for a terminal to be ready BUT it was all worth it as soon as I stepped outside and saw the sky and heard the sound of the birds. I walked straight into a bbq at the hostel (perfect timing) and felt immediately welcome.

Here we go.